Am I the only one who can only think of bad and negative things when the words "couple's counseling" are echoed? It is something that seems to instantly bring these feelings of dread and doom. Sure, you hear about people going to couple's counseling, in retrospect once it has all fallen apart and it "didn't work." So, when I told Joseph I thought we needed to go, it was really terrifying and even more terrifying when he agreed that it would be a good idea.

I was filled with this fear that couple's counseling was simply the beginning of the end for us. Even though we love each other and get along great and are committed. Because couple's counseling just seems to = the end.

When we decided we needed to go to counseling, there was no end in sight. Rather, we were two people who got along fantastically but were utterly terrible at heated conflict. We are as opposite as possible when it comes to how we settle arguments/conflict/hurt and upset. And, while, for the most part it did not impact our relationship, on rare occasions, these differences caused our arguments to blow up.

We've been going every week for about two months now. There has been a strong focus on learning how we each handle conflict, how to approach that in constructive ways and how to effectively and constrictively communicate in disagreements. It's amazing to me how being more conscience of word choice can drastically change the tone of a conversation.

Through counseling, I think it has only cemented for us how deeply committed we are to each other. I love Joseph, and I love him enough to try to learn how to be more communicative in ways that resonate with him, and the same goes for him. We leave each session and we discuss what we've learned and covered and how it surprised us. Counseling wasn't necessary to "save" our marriage because we weren't toeing the line of divorce. But, for us, it was necessary to help us work on our communication, which is an important foundation of any good relationship.

Couple's counseling is one of those dirty little secret things that no one talks about, even though it is something that, if talked about could help others. So, know, that couple's counseling doesn't have to be bad, or lead to the end. In fact it can be quite the opposite. It can help to grow a relationship, give deeper and greater understanding into your partner, and a greater appreciation for the work required for a long lasting relationship.

I know I am a few years late on having a quarter life crisis. I assume it’s because I also graduated a few years late and so I’m facing this question of what my purpose in life is a few years late.




Except, I don’t know what that is and I feel like there is this hole that needs to be filled. When Emmy naps, and the cleaning is all done and I’m left twiddling my thumbs, I don’t know how to fill that time and feel like I’m fulfilled. I feel like I’m floundering and that feeling starts to bleed into every avenue of my life if I’m not vigilant to keep my chin up.

So, according to my friend, Alicia, this is a quarter life crisis.

I just don’t know where I’m supposed to go from here.