You know those before and after pictures? The ones where
someone transformed from a surly looking overweight person to an ecstatic
thin/skinny/fit person… Usually, these pictures are accompanied with some diet
trend, or weight loss product, or a story of how that person finally hit their
goal body composition.
But, let’s talk about what those pictures, and products and
stories usually leave out. What I honestly consider to be a pretty important
aspect of actually being able to lose weight and live healthier. Learning to
love your body.
Hating your body is easy… You’re either too fat and need to
go eat a salad, or you’re too skinny and need to eat a burger. You have stretch
marks or cellulite, or GOD FORBID both and you should never dare to show those
limbs/body parts. You can see your clavicles? Well, you must be anorexic! Fat
arms? Better wear sleeves so as to keep from offending anyone. Hairy toes and
dry feet, get thyself to the nail salon, you MONSTER.
There are hundreds of little ways in which people are
inundated with their imperfections because other people think THEY are allowed
to comment on your body, your appearance, your self worth. And it’s plain
bullshit and I remember when I used to believe it.
In high school, my best friend was (and still is) a
naturally thin girl (even after having ALL The cute babies). (And to be honest,
I was surrounded by a bunch of naturally thin people or people who were hyper
focused on things like their body fat percentage) And as a teenager it was far
too easy to see why she was beautiful and tie FAR too much of that beauty into
her weight. And me? I was a size 9-11, I weighed more than the other girls my
age. I wasn’t fat, but you couldn’t convince me of that. And because I was “fat,”
there was no way I could be as pretty, there was no way that I could be thought
of attractive. And I tied so much of my weight into my self worth.
But the thing is, her being skinny didn’t make her beautiful.
No. It’s one aspect of her body composition and she’s a simply amazing person
and the sum of her parts is what makes her beautiful (inside and out). And what
I didn’t realize in high school, and took me a long time to realize is that me
being “fat” didn’t make me any less of a beautiful, wonderful and loving
person.
But spending so much of my teenage years, judging myself and
feeding into this belief that I wasn’t good enough because of my weight,
because I didn’t conform into this ideal body size, it stuck with me for a long
time. It fed into so many actions, it kept me from taking care of myself
properly and it kept me from being able to love myself.
Ironically, it was at my heaviest that I learned to love
myself. To not worry about other people when I finally started wearing shorts
in public. To not give a damn if my arms might be considered “too fat” to wear
sleeve less shirts. To dare to love myself, to treat myself right and to
appreciate my body for what it is and capable of and to NOT focus on everything
other people have taught me is wrong, and other people hate about themselves.
Largely because of crossfit and learning what my body is
capable of, regardless of my size; partially because of seeking out more body
positive influences; and also a lot of working on my outlook, I learned to love
myself. Sure, some days are hard and I’m hard on myself. But every day I love
myself.
And this loving myself? WOW has it changed so many aspects
of my life. Because I love myself, I take far better love of myself. I work out
consistently and I LOVE it. Working out consistently has encouraged me to eat
healthier because I want to get better at crossfit. I also eat healthier to take
better care of my body, to live a healthier life, to be the best me because I
am absolutely WORTH it.
I am worth every single kind thought I can give myself. I am
worth wearing what I want without worrying about any silly imperfections I
might have. I am worth loving myself to the very core of my being. And so are
you.
I talk to my friends and I hear how their tear themselves
down; beautiful and amazing people, whose faults only stand out to them. Who
can’t get past fears that someone might tear them down without realizing that THEY
are tearing themselves down the most. Without realizing that when I look at
them, I don’t see faults but their positives. And I want my friends, I want ALL
of my friends to see what I see in them; to know how amazing and beautiful and
strong and inspiring they are to me.
I never successfully lost a single pound until I learned to
love myself. So, my before picture? It isn’t surly. I’m smiling because I love
myself. I loved myself at 260 pounds. I loved myself at 240 (my weight in the
pictures, which are also my Before pics for my 1st Advocare Challenge). And, I
love myself now. Because my weight is not my self worth. It’s a number. And my
wanting to lose weight is not an indication that I don’t love myself. It’s a
natural result of loving myself and wanting to treat myself the absolute very
best that I can.
Love yourself.
It will change your life and you won’t regret it.
