Sandra Bragg: crossfit

The Tumble Down the Mountain

2:31 PM

Before I hurt my knee back in April, I was doing such a great job with my health. I was getting lots of exercise in, 5 days a week of working out, if not more, if not multiple times a day. I was eating right and feeling great and finding it to be totally easy to do. I was motivated, excited and feeling amazing.

Then I hurt my knee. I tried to continue with my momentum but when it comes down to it, Crossfit and wanting to get better at Crossfit is what drives me to be better. And, while my knee has been healing, I’ve had to scale workouts so much, not because of skills but because of injury and it just hasn’t felt the same. While, I’ve still gone to Crossfit, I’ve definitely slacked and my eating, well….

Let’s just say being healthy is climbing a mountain and I’ve slid way far back down. Giving up is much easier than perseverance and in a lot of ways I gave up. I didn’t care. There was so much I couldn’t do and that just killed my motivation, killed my caring, killed all my good and hard work.

While Joseph and I were at the beach, I went for a walk on my own. There is something about the beach that is very therapeutic to me. Part of it is, I can connect to nature without bugs, but another part is that I enjoy the water and the breeze and the feel of sand between my toes. So, while Joseph and Emmy played in the waves, I went for a stroll.

Self-consciously, once I felt like I was far enough away from Joseph and Emmy, I started to try and jog. I hadn’t jogged since before I hurt my knee and if it was a big dud, I didn’t want to have to talk about it. And my breathing was on point, my knee felt fine and I jogged the better part of my mile and a half jaunt. I feel like that jog helped me rediscover the part of me that cares about being healthy and fit.

Sunday, Joseph let me steal the last beach morning run before we left and I took off with Zombie Run playing in my earbuds, an app I hadn’t used in I don’t even know how long. All in all, with walking and jogging, I pushed myself to do a 5K and it just all felt good (and a little bad, in that way that working out sometimes make you feel). I honestly could have cried because I felt good about being active in the first time in a long, long time.

So this is me, sharing my struggle, and my joy. I’m ready to head back up the mountain.

crossfit

Crossfit Regionals, Granite Games and Overcoming My Own Perceptions of My Abilities

3:00 PM

http://crossfitechelon.com/wod-0118/strength-quote/

When we went to the Mid Atlantic Crossfit Regionals a few months ago there was one girl that I really enjoyed watching. While I really love watching all of the athletes workout because they are absolutely amazing and inspiring there was one woman in particular that just really spoke to my soul. As expected, the athletes at regionals are chiseled and cut and they look the athlete part. They are not the normal mere mortals that do crossfit to live a healthier lifestyle. No, no, they are the individuals whose lives are dedicated to trying to become fittest on Earth.

And, this girl who just resonated with me, she was absolutely amazing and she wasn’t chiseled or cut. Not to say she wasn’t fit; girl could do legless rope climbs, strict muscle ups and placed top 3^rd on one of the more strenuous workouts of the weekend. And for someone like me, who isn’t a tiny little princess; who hasn’t figured out the “enjoy food and workout” balance yet, seeing a more “normal” body kill it was awesome. (Normal, of course, being a fully relative term)

http://www.fitnessquotesimg.com/quotes-images/crossfit-is-a-way-of-life-530852.jpg

What I really loved about this girl is that, no doubt, people would look at this regional athlete and without knowing better would make judgment calls about her or what they think she would be able to do, or her skills. And, I feel like because she was a tad bit thicker than your typical regionals athlete, she really showed me that what you look like, or what you might be carrying around with you does not dictate your skills or abilities.

Because, if I’m being honest, I think it’s easy to look at people and pigeonhole them into what they should be able to do depending on how they look. And, when that happens I feel like it’s a great disservice to that person. And, so I’m watching this girl, who isn’t shaped like a typical regional athlete and realizing that although she is FAR and AWAY more fit than me, there is no reason why I can’t endeavor and succeed with whatever I want to do, regardless of how I look or am shaped. And there is certainly no reason to put off trying and working on skills.

http://pinterest.com/pin/192669690282122846/

So, the past 5 weeks we’ve been doing the Granite Games and I signed up for the scaled division, because I am 100% a scaled athlete (and okay with that). And, I feel like my results really highlight the fact that you cannot look at a person and decide what they are able to do. You cannot write off someone’s potential. Because, what will happen is this normally shaped girl, who still struggles with gymnastic moves but refuses to give up on conquering them, will come in second for the scaled division at her box out of a great deal of very talented, and competitive athletes. This girl will stay top 3 on all the workouts except the last, because of those danged gymnastic moves, and even have a 1^st place finish in the workouts for her box. And while I may not know if I changed anyone's perceptions of my abilities, I certainly know I changed my own.

I may have a long way to go with some skills but I can’t be pigeonholed into expectations, not even by myself.

avocado

The Graham HolmBURGER

6:33 PM

advocare

Change Your Viewpoint, Change Your Life

3:30 PM

You know those before and after pictures? The ones where someone transformed from a surly looking overweight person to an ecstatic thin/skinny/fit person… Usually, these pictures are accompanied with some diet trend, or weight loss product, or a story of how that person finally hit their goal body composition.

But, let’s talk about what those pictures, and products and stories usually leave out. What I honestly consider to be a pretty important aspect of actually being able to lose weight and live healthier. Learning to love your body.

Hating your body is easy… You’re either too fat and need to go eat a salad, or you’re too skinny and need to eat a burger. You have stretch marks or cellulite, or GOD FORBID both and you should never dare to show those limbs/body parts. You can see your clavicles? Well, you must be anorexic! Fat arms? Better wear sleeves so as to keep from offending anyone. Hairy toes and dry feet, get thyself to the nail salon, you MONSTER.

There are hundreds of little ways in which people are inundated with their imperfections because other people think THEY are allowed to comment on your body, your appearance, your self worth. And it’s plain bullshit and I remember when I used to believe it.

In high school, my best friend was (and still is) a naturally thin girl (even after having ALL The cute babies). (And to be honest, I was surrounded by a bunch of naturally thin people or people who were hyper focused on things like their body fat percentage) And as a teenager it was far too easy to see why she was beautiful and tie FAR too much of that beauty into her weight. And me? I was a size 9-11, I weighed more than the other girls my age. I wasn’t fat, but you couldn’t convince me of that. And because I was “fat,” there was no way I could be as pretty, there was no way that I could be thought of attractive. And I tied so much of my weight into my self worth.

But the thing is, her being skinny didn’t make her beautiful. No. It’s one aspect of her body composition and she’s a simply amazing person and the sum of her parts is what makes her beautiful (inside and out). And what I didn’t realize in high school, and took me a long time to realize is that me being “fat” didn’t make me any less of a beautiful, wonderful and loving person.

But spending so much of my teenage years, judging myself and feeding into this belief that I wasn’t good enough because of my weight, because I didn’t conform into this ideal body size, it stuck with me for a long time. It fed into so many actions, it kept me from taking care of myself properly and it kept me from being able to love myself.

Ironically, it was at my heaviest that I learned to love myself. To not worry about other people when I finally started wearing shorts in public. To not give a damn if my arms might be considered “too fat” to wear sleeve less shirts. To dare to love myself, to treat myself right and to appreciate my body for what it is and capable of and to NOT focus on everything other people have taught me is wrong, and other people hate about themselves.

Largely because of crossfit and learning what my body is capable of, regardless of my size; partially because of seeking out more body positive influences; and also a lot of working on my outlook, I learned to love myself. Sure, some days are hard and I’m hard on myself. But every day I love myself.

And this loving myself? WOW has it changed so many aspects of my life. Because I love myself, I take far better love of myself. I work out consistently and I LOVE it. Working out consistently has encouraged me to eat healthier because I want to get better at crossfit. I also eat healthier to take better care of my body, to live a healthier life, to be the best me because I am absolutely WORTH it.

I am worth every single kind thought I can give myself. I am worth wearing what I want without worrying about any silly imperfections I might have. I am worth loving myself to the very core of my being. And so are you.

I talk to my friends and I hear how their tear themselves down; beautiful and amazing people, whose faults only stand out to them. Who can’t get past fears that someone might tear them down without realizing that THEY are tearing themselves down the most. Without realizing that when I look at them, I don’t see faults but their positives. And I want my friends, I want ALL of my friends to see what I see in them; to know how amazing and beautiful and strong and inspiring they are to me.

I never successfully lost a single pound until I learned to love myself. So, my before picture? It isn’t surly. I’m smiling because I love myself. I loved myself at 260 pounds. I loved myself at 240 (my weight in the pictures, which are also my Before pics for my 1st Advocare Challenge). And, I love myself now. Because my weight is not my self worth. It’s a number. And my wanting to lose weight is not an indication that I don’t love myself. It’s a natural result of loving myself and wanting to treat myself the absolute very best that I can.

Love yourself.

It will change your life and you won’t regret it.

crossfit

The One Where I Talk About My Crossfit Anniversary

10:59 AM

I’m a little late on writing about this, but I’ve been waiting for it to feel right.

A little over a year ago, I went back to crossfit. There were a number of reason why I stopped going, some of them silly and some of them not, but it was the end of July that I was sitting on Instagram looking at pictures and Scott had shared a wod that he had done at his box in Texas. And, it sort of hit me like a bag of bricks that I was this perfectly healthy individual (relatively speaking) and that by not working out, I was wasting my health. This hit me especially hard because Scott was killing wods while battling brain cancer, and compared to that all of my feelings and reasons for not going to crossfit were miniscule and not important.

For a few weeks, the idea of going back just stayed in the back of my mind. I’m honestly not even sure when I finally discussed with Joseph that I think I was ready to go back. And then finally I received the push I needed to go back and it’s been a love story in the making ever since.

One big reason crossfit was so hard for me to get back into after having Emmy is because I was SO hard on myself and how weak I was, how slow I was, how behind everyone else I was. There was NO love in how I spoke to myself and considering that, it’s no real surprise that I didn’t stick to it long. So, when I went back last August, I really focused on going slow, discovering what I could do and focusing on improving from who I was the day before and not who I was pre-baby.

There are still times when I’m hard on myself. Sometimes I’m blind to how much I’ve improved, or sometimes I can only see my faults (because running is still so stupid hard for me). But, a lot of the time, when I talk to Joseph after the wod, I’m so excited to share how I did in the wod; the new PR I hit, the ways in which I’ve surprised myself, doing hanging pull ups in the wod, doing the weight RX, etc. I remember the first time I cleaned 100 pounds. I remember hitting my dead lift PR, finally doing a banded pull up, and discovering I love Kettlebell Swings. Or, days like today, when I hit a PR and, separately, hit a goal I made at the beginning of this year (95# clean and jerks in a wod, which is also the typical RX weight).

Then there are the times where Emmy does a burpee, or snatches a stick, or climbs on a wall upside down. Those moments where Emmy is so clearly emulating the things she has seen me do, the things I’ve inadvertently taught her because I made a healthier decision for myself. Those are the moments where I know that I’m not just doing something for me, but I’m doing this, so much of the time, for and because of Emmy. And those moments, when I love Joseph so much because we start our weekends together, working out; getting nasty and sweaty and having so much fun working out together.

And it wouldn’t be complete without mentioning the social aspect of Crossfit. The part that has me coming back day after day, even when the weather is crap, or I feel like crap, or even when the work out is something that I know will make me cry whether from frustration or just plain anger and that is the people. In the past year, it’s been so nice to work out with, socialize with and be motivated by some really amazing people. When it comes to having a good crossfit fam, Boiler Room has the best. And for a stay at home mom, some great socialization is really imperative. There isn’t a single person that I wouldn’t want to do a wod with, and that I don’t enjoy seeing when I’m up there.

A few weekends ago I competed in my first competition and the biggest takeaway from that day was that I could not believe, and would have never guessed, that I would have SO much fun competing in an athletic endeavor, much less one that is essentially just working out.

Crossfit has pushed me out of my comfort zones, made me a stronger and more capable person, helped me be a better person for Emmy, given me amazing confidence and helped me meet some incredible friends. Going back a year ago was one of the best decisions I could have made.

Pages

The Tumble Down the Mountain

Crossfit Regionals, Granite Games and Overcoming My Own Perceptions of My Abilities

The Graham HolmBURGER

Change Your Viewpoint, Change Your Life

The One Where I Talk About My Crossfit Anniversary

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