I’m a little late on writing about this, but I’ve been
waiting for it to feel right.
A little over a year ago, I
went back to crossfit. There were a number of reason why I stopped
going, some of them silly and some of them not, but it was the end of July that
I was sitting on Instagram looking at pictures and Scott had shared a wod that
he had done at his box in Texas. And, it sort of hit me like a bag of bricks
that I was this perfectly healthy individual (relatively speaking) and that by
not working out, I was wasting my health. This hit me especially hard because
Scott was killing wods while battling brain cancer, and compared to that all of
my feelings and reasons for not going to crossfit were miniscule and not
important. 
For a few weeks, the idea of going back just stayed in the
back of my mind. I’m honestly not even sure when I finally discussed with Joseph that I
think I was ready to go back. And then finally I received the push I needed to
go back and it’s been a love story in the making ever since.
One big reason crossfit was so hard for me to get back into
after having Emmy is because I was SO hard on myself and how weak I was, how
slow I was, how behind everyone else I was. There was NO love in how I spoke to
myself and considering that, it’s no real surprise that I didn’t stick to it
long. So, when I went back last August, I really focused on going slow,
discovering what I could do and focusing on improving from who I was the day
before and not who I was pre-baby.
There are still times when I’m hard on myself. Sometimes I’m
blind to how much I’ve improved, or sometimes I can only see my faults (because
running is still so stupid hard for me). But, a lot of the time, when I talk to
Joseph after the wod, I’m so excited to share how I did in the wod; the new PR
I hit, the ways in which I’ve surprised myself, doing hanging pull ups in the
wod, doing the weight RX, etc. I remember the first time I cleaned 100 pounds.
I remember hitting my dead lift PR, finally doing a banded pull up, and
discovering I love Kettlebell Swings. Or, days like today, when I hit a PR and,
separately, hit a goal I made at the beginning of this year (95# clean and
jerks in a wod, which is also the typical RX weight).
Then there are the times where Emmy does a burpee, or snatches
a stick, or climbs on a wall upside down. Those moments where Emmy is so
clearly emulating the things she has seen me do, the things I’ve inadvertently
taught her because I made a healthier decision for myself. Those are the
moments where I know that I’m not just doing something for me, but I’m doing
this, so much of the time, for and because of Emmy. And those moments, when I
love Joseph so much because we start our weekends together, working out;
getting nasty and sweaty and having so much fun working out together.
And it wouldn’t be complete without mentioning the social
aspect of Crossfit. The part that has me coming back day after day, even when
the weather is crap, or I feel like crap, or even when the work out is
something that I know will make me cry whether from frustration or just plain
anger and that is the people. In the past year, it’s been so nice to work out
with, socialize with and be motivated by some really amazing people. When it
comes to having a good crossfit fam, Boiler Room has the best. And for a stay
at home mom, some great socialization is really imperative. There isn’t a
single person that I wouldn’t want to do a wod with, and that I don’t enjoy
seeing when I’m up there. 
A few weekends ago I competed in my first competition and
the biggest takeaway from that day was that I could not believe, and would have
never guessed, that I would have SO much fun competing in an athletic endeavor,
much less one that is essentially just working out. 
Crossfit has pushed me out of my comfort zones, made me a
stronger and more capable person, helped me be a better person for Emmy, given
me amazing confidence and helped me meet some incredible friends. Going back a
year ago was one of the best decisions I could have made.
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